When Creating Creeps Into Sleep… Under the Moon

 

I often think about how I want to start blogging regularly. Only every time I think I’ll do so, I fill my days and nights with a hundred other things. But since I can’t sleep…. why not write a blog like I keep considering? And why not write about the problem at hand? As I know so many people suffer from this issue. Insomnia. I don’t like that word. I actually never use it. I prefer to say, I don’t sleep well. And it’s not an easy fix. The suggestions I’ve been given repeatedly don’t seem to have much effect: Read. Take a warm bath. Use lavender oil. Don’t keep your devices near your bed. Stay off of social media. Don’t have caffeine after 5pm. Don’t watch TV. And so on. These suggestions do not work for the creative mind, it seems. because I’ve tried them all. Many times. Sometimes sleep aids help. Often times, they don’t. So this last week my sleep has been non-existent. And yet during the day I work like a machine, like most other sleep-deprived hard working people. Because while the sleep may not remain the same, the responsibilities do. And the fact that I live in creation mode; I spend at least 80% of my waking time creating, probably only adds to my issue. It may really be a part of the reason that I can’t shut off my mind. However, that will not stop me from living to create. So in my desperate attempt earlier I thought, reconsider one of the many suggestions and I decided to go with, take a warm bath. So here I was this evening, as I decided to get to bed early, washing my face while I drew a bath. I was now convinced this bath was going to really help with my desperately needed sleep. It had luscious bubbles. The temperature was perfect. I was ready. Only when I got in the bathtub the water wasn’t holding. After messing with the drain enough I had to accept, this wasn’t going to work. I was then suddenly exasperated. Feeling exhausted and desperate to accomplish my goal, exasperation set in quickly. But I stopped myself. Abruptly. Oh no you don’t, I thought. You at least have water. You may not be able to hold it properly in your lovely modern tub, but you have water while many others don’t; quickly thinking of Puerto Rico and how much of the island is still suffering without proper resources. So do not go there, self. Even if you don’t sleep. Even if that bath would have truly helped. You are not going there as this is not a real problem. Consider another suggestion, perhaps read. But getting frustrated isn’t happening. And I laughed at the situation instead. And that is how I level myself. I remind myself that what I think is a problem, a hassle, a hurdle, in no way can I say that -when there are people and animals truly in need, suffering in this world.  So when I told myself I was not giving in to the feeling of exasperation, I quickly moved past it. And into the shower, instead, I went. Because a lot of the little things that we allow to take us down, make us frustrated or upset, are just not worth it. Not giving in to those emotions is empowering. The reality is, we have the ability to gain control over our emotions more than we allow ourselves to believe. I’m not perfect about this approach but I do use it far, far more often than not. So I feel like I have that part of life fairly figured out. Now, if I could just figure out how to sleep. 🙂

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